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Lovely post. It's good to have you back online.

Erin J.

I get such a kick out of your posts. And I have to admit to very similar feelings of concern about our combination of bio/adopted (except ours came the other way around, eliciting a whole different bevy of comments) and our blended colors. I loved a comment from an adoptive mom once at a restaurant: "You know so many people in [our town] have adopted that people are pretty much used to seeing little black kids with white mommies." It is true for Asian too and I love to see the mix when I go to playgroups and such. Not just white mommies either... all different colors of mommies. Blended is DEFINITELY in!

Betty M

Ah the questions. As a mixed kid I was always asked where I was from, and then no, really, where are you from? Giving my home town was not enough. Here though mixed and blended families are so much more common that no one ever asks any more. Not that I minded explaining - I loved the way it made me feel more exotic than my peers!


I'm right with you on this post. And now we're pregnant with #3, our 1st is adopted 2nd isn't. People pretty much know now to keep their lips sealed. I just tell them 'oh I didn't know we were supposed to have SEX to make a baby'. I worry about #3. It was one thing when it was #2 but now another bio child. Oh the looks that could come now. Let them come, bring em on. I wouldn't trade our beautiful family for NOTHING. The journey to here has made me who i am today. Those that knew me before wouldn't know me now. Love love love my children regardless of how they came to me. Glad I read your blog!!!


It's so good to see you blogging again. I missed you!


I am glad you are back. :) your girls are beautiful.

haitian american family of three

Were an adoptive family and our girl is Haitian, we get lots of looks and comments, but now that my kiddo is getting older (3) the comments have changed from "Is she yours?!" to "Your daughter is so cute!"

I made a line of fabric for blended and adoptive families like our for her bedding-photos here:


SO glad you are back. Look forward to reading all that you have been up to in the past couple of years!!


I am so, so glad you are back blogging and owe Tertia HUGE props for letting us know.

This was a truly beautiful post.

BTW, did you ever get MP's quilt made? I'd love to get a peak at it if you feel comfortable sharing it some day.


It's been YEARS since I read a post by you - I think 2004 - you made me cry back then and you made me cry now. Your daughters are beautiful.


I'm glad you are back. I enjoyed reading your posts way back then.

I'm not sure about this, but I think sometimes when we are in pain (and I think it's clear you were in a LOT of pain before MP finally came home) we not only see more offensive behavior from those around us, but we might even somehow attract it. I don't mean that to be an attack, but I have noticed it in my own life. You seem so much more at peace now and maybe that's another reason why things are so much calmer and the comments are fewer.

I live in Manhattan and blended families are pretty normal around here. One of my friends has two adorable boys adopted from China and due to financial issues, they were contemplating having to move to a southern state. She was really upset over the idea as when they visited family there, people would ask her how much her son cost...etc. We don't see that here. I also live in a neighborhood where there are a lot of Dominican families, and I see such a wide diversity of color within those families as well. I hope questioning about color will become a thing of the past.

Your girls are adorable, by the way! You are blessed.


It is so good to have you back!!! Your girls are gorgeous! I can't believe MP is so big already...


Love this. Sorry you had to go through some of the uncomfortable parts of it - but so glad you are back to blogging and open about it! Thanks!


First of all, fuck fucking Blogger who didn't give me a goddamned update (it's happening with Calliope, too) when you posted, y'know, IN MAY.

Second of all, I've already had more than enough of the 'oh, when did you adopt the Chieftain' and 'Oh, is that your nephew?' questions. It's freakin' 2010, for the love of garlic! Of course, The Chieftain looks like his dad and I look like the help*, so yay for racism.

I always knew this was going to happen, because with mixed race babies you don't know what color they're going to end up being at the end of the day (the Chieftain has gotten darker as time has gone on, he looks like a blond surfer dude with a Mediterranean tan, y'know, the dark gold skin color?). And my mother, who's white, has also been on the receiving end, too. As have I in regards to her.

Anyhoo, glad to have you back.

* which is also a fantastic book, if you haven't yet read it. Available in paperback in January. The Help, Kathryn Stockett.


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