Shmedrest

So today on my first day of maternity leave I'm sitting at the computer sending out emails and all of a sudden I have this intense pain. I wasn't sure what it was. Thought maybe bathroom related but it didn't feel like that at all. But I went to the bathroom anyway and yelled my way through what felt like a really, really intense abdominal pain that lasted about 45 seconds. Walking did not make it feel better. Nothing made it feel better. It ended but my belly felt pummeled, as if I had just done forty thousand sit ups. Leaning forward hurt like hell, getting up from a sitting position hurt like hell. I emailed Random who frantically emailed back telling me to call my doctor pronto. I did, and they told me to come in. Feeling like a giagantic shmuck I did.

My doctor listened to me and explained that she didn't think it was a contraction because it hurt so much, but that anything was possible. She felt my belly and told me baby was either head down (which surprised me) or butt down, she couldn't tell. Heartrate was excellent. Then she checked my cervix and...lo and behold...it was too short.

So I'm on modified bedrest. Or something like it. I'm allowed to wake up, make breakfast, bring my daughter to school, go home and lie on the couch, make lunch, lie on the couch again, pick my daughter up, and lie back down. I'm not allowed to go to the store or do any shopping (which, um, SUCKS, because I have done very little prep for baby, and who the heck is going to buy the milk and juice we need every two days now????). I'm allowed to do an errand here and there, with no walking. (I guess that would be like getting gas.) My doctor, who is very mellow (the doulas at my hospital say she's actually a secret midwife with OB cred) is not one to call this lightly, so I'm feeling kind of FREAKED OUT RIGHT ABOUT NOW. She wants baby to cook for three more weeks at least, WHICH ALSO FREAKS ME OUT BECAUSE THREE WEEKS IS IN, LIKE, THREE MEASLY WEEKS.

I am not ready for ANY of this, people.

U/S on Thursday to measure me and baby. In the meantime, I need some thoughts here. I have a wedding this weekend that is a 5 hours drive away. Random and I were planning to go for the entire weekend with MP. He's the best man, so he's kind of required there. I was so eeked out at the doctor's that I forgot to ask about whether I'd be able to go or not. What do you think? I'm going to call doc tomorrow, but would you go? Do you think there's any chance in hell she'll let me go? Obviously if I did I'd be a wallflower and not dance or anything. (Of course, I spent four weekends looking for a dress and, of course, found a very cute one that I will now have to wear lying in bed, because of course, it's non returnable). 

ACK! And, SMFEORUEOGHOUERYTEUERERUI!

Also: modified bedrest tips and Fun Things To Do When You Are Confined To A Couch will also be appreciated.

Comments

[Annika]

Silly, you can still go shopping! You just have to do it online. I know that doesn't help with milk and juice, but I promise you can get everything your baby could possibly need plus a TON of junk no one needs but everyone wants, all without ever leaving the sofa.

[Beth]

I was on bedrest for 7 weeks, in the hospital. A laptop was my savior. I emailed, played silly computer games, read and watched movies. It's all worth it in the end. Hang in there!

[amy]

Ugg delivering a premature baby miles from home. Imagine the grimmace on my face!
Random gets a weekend fling with the boys, you get some one on one time teaching MP to deliver things from the kitchen, and the three of you welcome a fully cooked baby in three weeks. :)

[Dani]

I'm with Amy. It's not worth the risk. :)

[Beth]

I wouldn't go to the wedding. I'd stay home with MP and have someone come over to help. Now's the time to call on friends and family to run errands for you, etc. Depending on where you live, you may be able to order groceries online (we do it thru Safeway). I'm not pg, so 3 weeks on a couch sounds divine to me, actually, lazy sod that I am. Update your Netflix list and get some movies in, stock up on trashy magazines, fire up the laptop for some online baby shopping, throw old snapshots into those slip-in sort of photo albums, address baby announcements and thank you notes, give yourself a mani/pedi, deep condition your hair, start filling out a baby journal and update MP's if she has one...I could go on and on. That said, it's never fun when you HAVE to do it, but try to remember that you will be WISHING you could have a 3 week break after the baby comes. Good luck!

[spacemom]

For wedding, I would ask the doc, but I would probably let Random go alone with MP. Get a friend to be your driver in case you need to head to the hospital

Unfortunately, I have been there, done that in terms of bedrest (for both kids).

Fun things to do on a couch (that are approved for bedrest):
1) paint nails lots of colors. Maybe daily.
2) Find a good book series (I read the A-Z mysteries from Sue Grafton)
3) TV- avoid the baby shows, you're just going to cry
4) Blog blog blog (but the laptop gets rather warm and baby might not like it)

hang in there, it'll be okay

[mommymel]

Sorry to hear this, and sorry to say that even modified bedrest does not allow sitting in a car for 5 hours. Even under the best of conditions, you really don't want to be in a car that long at this point in your pregnancy.

FWIW sitting is as bad or worse for your cervix than standing up/walking around. It puts too much pressure down there, KWIM? (not a doctor over here, but been there done that

Prayers and best wishes for a big, healthy baby and faint memories of this unfun time. Here's to hoping that you are so busy with MP and the new one that you look back on 'bedrest' and wish you could be back there momentarily.

[CaraH]

I absolutely would not take a five hour trip from home - not even if all were well and certainly not now with things being less than perfect. I'm sorry :(

And I completely agree - if MP stays home with you while Random is gone, have someone else stay with you. Even maybe a mother's helper teenager that you trust...?

May all go well for you and may you have a WONDERFUL remainder of your pregnancy - I am so happy for you!

[Carol]

Sorry, I don't have experience but I'm hoping you can maybe do more bloggin'?

Oh, I just googled "things to do on bedrest" and came up with tons and tons of links! I won't copy and paste them here because I figure you know how to google.

Good luck, and I agree about not going to the wedding, but maybe you can take a picture of yourself in the wedding outfit you were going to wear and have Random bring it and show it to people so they can see your bitchen dress.

[Stephanie]

I'd advise against the wedding, for sure...all that socializing would be a lot of effort, and you wouldn't want to be far from home at this point. But you should know there's no supported evidence out there indicating bed rest prevents preterm labor. OB's continue to give the advice because it seems to make intuitive sense, but I really think it's more about getting you to relax and take it easy than anything else. So I'd vote no on the wedding, but I wouldn't take the bed rest thing too seriously. She sounds like a cool OB - you could even ask her about the evidence thing and I bet she'd back me up.

[kristylynne]

I did bedrest for 7 weeks. And we moved to another town in the middle of it. I cannot tell you how much that blew. My salvation was my mother-in-law, who moved in with us for six weeks and took care of anything. Cooked for us, cleaned, packed all our shit. I love, love, love her and owe her big time, and will for all eternity. But I did deliver her a healthy grandchild, so maybe we're even now.

And hell no, do NOT go to that wedding. Unless you want to risk staying in that town for the next several weeks while your premature baby is in the NICU. Stay home. Have your parents or a good friend come and stay with you to help with Maya. Let Random fend for himself. Shame about the dress, though.

[Sarah]

Online shopping is your friend -- even for juice and milk (i sure hope safeway in your area delivers!). The wedding five hours away? I can't imagine an OB that would say yes to that at this point. Sorry! Maybe Random can take you out to dinner so you have some place to wear the dress before the baby comes.

If I had to go on bedrest tomorrow, I'd do projects. I need to make a photo book of our last trip and a few other fun photo things on my mac and I'd finally have time to do it. Hope you have lingering things like that to keep you busy!

Good luck!

[kristylynne]

As for things to do while on bedrest ... since you're stuck at home doing not much of anything, would your job let you work from home so that you can rack up more maternity time that you can use later on?

When I was on bedrest I had all these plans to scrapbook, etc. But ended up working all the time. Which was fine, had bills to pay, yada yada.

[Danielle]

No wedding! Cook the baby! Random can bring you a piece of the cake.

[Woody's Girl]

I was on "modified bedrest" for my whole last trimester, yet had a 4-mo-old and a 2.5 yr old to care for the entire time. YIKES! It all started when I became dehydrated (at <30 weeks) and hospitalized overnight, then was found to be dilating and effacing... so, yah, bedrest.

I never got to do any neat "projects" while on bedrest. It was all I could do to take care of the girls and myself during the day. So I hope you are able to make good use of your time, and so something fun (or necessary?) while you are under "house arrest."

Best of luck to you! Oh, and NO WAY should you go to the wedding! Stinks about the dress, and I'm sure you hate to miss the ceremony, but it's just a matter of bad timing. Better to be safe than sorry - stay home!

[Carol]

You could sell the dress on eBay?

[Sheila]

Sorry, but I think you'd better skip the wedding trip. Bedrest does seem to help many women with high-risk pregnancies. (You know Julia's story, and Akeeyu's maybe?) And the consequences of preterm labour and premature delivery are potentially very serious, as I'm sure you know. The March of Dimes website has lots of good information on prematurity. If your doctor has recommended modified bedrest, please stick to the rules. You might be surprised how tired you are and how much you end up sleeping - I was.

I'm the parent of 30-week triplets, who are thriving now at 8 years old. It was really hard and really scary to have them in the NICU, and to see them developmentally delayed for the first 3 to 4 years. They have caught up to "normal" milestones, and are doing very well in school. But they will be at increased risk for a variety of health problems for the rest of their lives because they were born prematurely at very low birth weight. Our children were amazingly lucky, and avoided a great many medical problems that are common with premature infants. Sadly, I know other families who have been much less fortunate. It's just not worth taking any chances.

For the bed-resting time, it might help to have a family member or friend visit regularly, to play with MP and bring you drinks and meals, and to keep you company when Random is not home. The time will pass pretty quickly. And yes, you can shop by phone, catalog and internet.

I hope your pregnancy will continue uneventfully, as close to 40 weeks as possible. You won't mind missing the wedding when you're holding your new baby and introducing him/her to MP.

[Diana]

So sorry about the bedrest- I'm sure that will make everything more difficult. Here's my list of DVD's to rent (as long as MP's not watching with you).

The Sopranos
The Wire
Family Guy
Futurama
Firefly
Some good ole Buffy the Vampire Slayer would be fun, too
Oh, and The Office (British or American versions- love them both)

If MP is around- the original Sesame Street episodes from the 70's (I found them at Target) So much fun!

Hope all goes well!

[mellie]

Wow! Just in time to enjoy your maternity leave! Maybe the next cervix check will be longer or something and you can have more freedom--I assume they will get the spot on measurement when you do your ultrasound? Also, a casual question. Do they give you steriod shots in this instance as a just in case measure, or do they feel like you are cool withhout it at this point? In the meantime--shop on line and you know, relax--isn't that how you got to this point in the first place? (Joke! or an attempt at one, anyway....)

[Slim]

Ix-nay on the edding-way. Sorry. I'm sure your dress is adorable -- maybe you and MP can have a tea party,* and you can wear it then.

Could you ask the director of MP's school to let parents know that you could use some help? Our daycare does stuff like that, and having a daycare friend over for a playdate is something most parents are glad to do.

*Someone is going to rant about the evils of tea for children, so I'd serve Very Vanilla soy milk if I were you. (Mellie and I have evidently taken a vow to post things that are hilarious to us, if no one else.)

[Katherine]

Just popping in to be sure that you have been advised to skip the wedding - and you well and truly have. Sorry about the dress - love the idea of a tea party - daddy can film it and you'll have proof forever of how cute you were in said dress. Take it easy, now.

[Summer]

Babies R Us has wheelchairs. Target and grocery stores have those Rascal scooters with the baskets in front (which I've always secretly longed to use, even though I'm certain I'd take out a display of glassware, or possibly run over someone's grandma.)

Bedrest sucks, but Rocky is worth it.

[Lawmommy]

Fun things to do while lying on a couch:

1. Watch all three seasons of Veronica Mars, available via Netflix
2. Watch the first 2 seasons of Alias, also available via Netflix. Even if you watched them when they were actually on TV. Just becauses Michael Vartan is pretty. And the first two seasons were all kinds of awesome.
3. Read read read, something not too heavy, maybe in a series so there's lot to keep you interested - some good ones are Sue Grafton's Alphabet series, or Charlaine Harris's Southern Vampire series, or Lawrence Block's burglar series, or Joan Hess's Maggody series, or any book by Christopher Moore except for Coyote Blue (which isn't funny) (Moore should maybe make you laugh so hard you will fall off the couch, so, maybe that's a bad thing)
4. Get a Nintendo DS. Fire it up with Mahjong or Brain Age or some other puzzle games. Or, hook up an old school Nintendo 64 to your tv and play Mario or Yoshi or something.
5. Blog

That's all I can think of. Good luck,
Gretchen

[Tine]

No wedding for you, dear. (I'm not usually Bossy Flossie, but you did ask!)

No taking care of MP all by yourself either. Sorry, but she's little enough that I don't trust you to stay off your feet. You have to get some help while Random is gone! You'll feel silly doing it, since, you know -- you're right there -- but I think it's important.

Spend your leisure time shopping. :)

[Kriss]

I would read & eat copious amounts of Ferrero Rocher.

And you can definitely finish off your shopping via the 'net. Babies R Us, Target, Walmart, Kohls, and upmteen million other places offer home delivery, and everyone seems to be having fabulous spring sales right now.