Rocky Hits a KO

*Back to the original story, still not at the present....it'll take quite a bit more till we get there...*

**********************************

I had so many transvaginal ultrasounds during my infertility years that I wouldn't have been surprised if someone had suggested permanently installing one inside to save everyone the trouble of having them ready for me. And here I was in the waiting room of a place that specialized in transvaginal ultrasounds. It would be my first since the last cancelled IVF three years ago. I was really, really, really nervous. I was unwashed and greasy and huddled up. Random sat next to me and held my hand. It was early in the morning.

"What does this remind you of?" he asked.

"Duh," I said, knowing automatically--we have what is known in our house as "SameBrain," where we both basically think the same thing at the same time.

It reminded me of early-morning waiting rooms at the IVF clinic. Except here everyone was older and there were as many men as women. But people still had that drawn, anxious look, probably because this was a place that specialized in all things Scan and some of these people were in for serious stuff. Anyway, it didn't bring back pleasant memories, although Random and I did crack ourselves up quite frequently during those harried mornings.

At the counter they asked me to fill out a form. The form asked for

# OF CHILDREN

so I wrote "one."

The woman at the counter then said "oh, so this is your second pregnancy?" And I said "nope, first pregnancy, second kid" and she looked at me like I had two heads. So I explained and she wrote "adopted" next to my "one" and I smiled thinly.

Finally our name was called and we were led back by a young woman who seemed really sweet. Good, I thought--it would make the bad news easier to take (if there was bad news! If there was bad news! I had to keep reminding myself to quit being such a pessimistic ween). We went into the exam room and I took off my bottoms, flinging them onto a chair. Random perched uneasily. The tech came back in and I hoisted myself up on the table. She turned off the lights, swiveled her chair around, and brandished The Wand.

I held my breath.  

I felt my blood stop as the tech began.

Within a second of The Wand the tech showed me a small blurb on the screen. She pointed at a pulsing speck, smaller than a grain of rice, and explained that what we were seeing was a heartbeat. She turned a dial and a sound filled the room--a whoosh whoosh whoosh registering on the screen as a series of peaks and valleys. "That's it," she said, capturing the beats per minute on screen. "It looks good," she said.

My neck craned forward. I was crying, a little. I looked at Random, who was holding my foot and staring at the screen.

"Crazy, huh?" he said.

I was six weeks five days pregnant when I first heard Rocky's heartbeat.

(You might be wondering why Rocky. We needed a name that symbolized something kick-ass, something that perservered despite the odds. Just picturing the sperm charging to the tune of Rocky training--and then picturing said sperm slamming into the egg at the speed of Rocky's left hook--and just pummeling away until the egg, defeated, let him in--made us both feel warm and fuzzy inside. And seemed fitting, somehow.)

Next up: I Get Sick! And Sicker! And Copious Amounts of Nuts Are Involved!

Comments

[Andrea]

OK, reading your whoosh whoosh whoosh made me cry a little too. How cool.

[Melissa]

Karen, I'm so happy for you! I am a reader from the pre-MP days and I am thrilled that you are blogging again.

Just thought I would check in for updates as I wait for my own ultrasound at 3:30.

So glad to read your happy news today!

[Trixygirl]

Yep, crying a little too. I am so thrilled for you, you're even forgiven for adding to the "just adopt and you'll get pregnant" folklore. More, please...

[Kim]

Here's hoping and praying the story turns out beautifully! I can't wait to hear more!

By the way - to add to the stupid things people say about "just adopt and you'll get pregnant," a friend of a friend adopted a child. And then got pregnant. FOURTEEN YEARS LATER. People still say to them, "Oh, see, you adopted, and now you got pregnant." Uh, well, yes, but no, folks.

[Sarah]

I'm jealous. ;) We saw the heartbeat at 6w3d (last week), but didn't get to hear it. Whoosh whoosh whoosh sounds so cool! Can't wait to read the rest of the story.

[Suz]

YAY ROCKY!! That whoosh, whoosh, whoosh sound with the little pulsating light are two wonderful things to experience. So, so, glad you're back.

[Carol]

Could I BE any more on the edge of my seat without falling off??

Loving the installments!! Can't wait for next one!!

[Orodemniades]

Aww. I think that's one of the most magical moments in life, when you can see and hear that little heart beating away.

[mellie]

OMG OMG OMG! Can you stand it!? Even now, when you write it, knowing what happened next....

[Miss W]

I am too much of an instant gratification girl! The suspense of not knowing where things stand right this very second is killing me! (But I gotta say, so far I'm really loving this)

[Lori]

Omg I read you forever before you signed off. I AM the consummate lurker...really. But honestly, please dont go away again..and knowing what that whooosh whoosh whoosh can do I am almost (but not quite) as happy that you finally got to hear it as I was when I heard my own :)

I am impatient btw. I think I refresh 20 times a day to get to NOW :)

[Diane]

My monitor is blurry. I have to go now.

That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

[Heather]

De-lurking to say that you are KILLING me. But in a "Yay! You got to see and hear a heartbeat" way. On the edge of my seat with every part crossed (which is a tad uncomfortable, but you're worth it.)

[Carolyn]

That woosh woosh is one of the sweetest sounds in the whole world, isn't it? Waiting with bated breath until the next installment!

[Lisa]

The suspense is killing me. But I'm so glad you're blogging again.

[Anita]

Amazing.....now hurry up with the rest of the story! I want to know more.

[Alex]

That whoosh, whoosh, whoosh is such a very wonderful sound.

[electriclady]

Long, LONG-time reader, and so glad you're blogging again. Love this story, love the MP update, love it all!

[anon]

So glad to read you again and to hear all the wonderful MP news and what looks like more wonderful news to come. My mom tried for years and eventually adopted my sister, only to find out 8 weeks later she was pregnant with me. More than 30 years later she still rolls her eyes at the "adopt and you'll get pregnant" comment. Love that whoosh whoosh whoosh noise. It ranks up there with the giggles of a 2 year old. :)

[Eva]

I love the way you described the whoosh whoosh. I definitely cried the first time I heard it (my husband didn't know if they were tears of joy or tears of freaking out that there were 2).

[Sparky]

Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy! It is so good to have you back. Not only did I miss you but I missed all of the great people who read and comment here too. Your blog is a good place to hang out.

[becky k]

just wonderful news and so nice to have you back! we just had our first ever scan with a baby in the middle after 8 years ttc and our 3rd cycle of icsi. and i'm so thrilled the same is happening to someone else!

[Shauna]

Dude. You are so mean. I really may have a heart attack before you actually get around to telling us where everything is rightthissecond. I'm entirely too excited for you to have to endure this kind of torment!

[Shan]

So glad to see you back! Happy to hear the MP update as well.

[Megan]

I am going crazy waiting to see where this is going!!!

[ttulea]

Great news! I am a lurker from your Naked Ovary days. I am glad to see you blogging again. You are such an easy read!

Welcome back and congrats!

Sher

[SCY]

Wow!!! Whoosh Whoosh indeed, I really hope you have all these posts pre-written and are simply posting them daily - if you are, can you post two a day? Pretty please!

[justdawn]

THUNK! (that was the sound of me falling off my seat!) I am positively DYING over here...just waiting for the next installation! I hope that the rest of the story is as happy as the beginning.

And welcome back to the blogiverse...I have missed you:)

[graciemommy]

The suspense is killing me! I cried a little when I read your story. Like you, I had absolutely no reason to expect anything good from a transvaginal ultrasound, but sometimes very, very good things happen, don't they? Again, so glad to hear from you and can't wait for more:)))

[graciemommy]

The suspense is killing me! I cried a little when I read your story. Like you, I had absolutely no reason to expect anything good from a transvaginal ultrasound, but sometimes very, very good things happen, don't they? Again, so glad to hear from you and can't wait for more:)))

[Slim]

Your very own whooshy-thump experience! I'm happy for you (and totally frustrated at the gradual unfolding, but I shall suck it up for the sake of news and MP dish).

[lisak]

So, so glad to have found you again! Read NkdO for--oh, I don't know, years?--and missed you terribly. Waited for an update on So Close/Tertia, but it never came. Anyway, not a stalker, just a fan who's glad to have found you. Really enjoy your writing. Wish I were a writer, but alas, a reader I think I will always be. Love the new blog design. Now, if I could just find Grrl...!

[lisak]

Okay, back again, having actually read the post!!! Congratulations!!! Wowsy, wow, wow!

[lisak]

Okay, back again, having actually read the post!!! Congratulations!!! Wowsy, wow, wow!

[Anna]

This is just amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us!

[Kellie]

Oh, wow! The suspense is killing me!

Glad there was a woosh woosh.

[Shelley]

Urrrgh. The "# of children" incident is so annoying -- I mean, I fully understand that they need to know about your pregnancy history, but why could they not put "# of pregnancies" or "# of live births" there instead? I mean, to put "0" there for you would mean MP didn't exist, and that would be all wrong too.

Congratulations on your great news!

[Kristy]

I still am amazed. This is just awesome for you all.

[Tine]

Awesome news. I am SO frickin' pleased. :)

[~ bridgette ~]

I'm so glad you're back!! Congratulations!

[Kira]

I'm so thrilled you're back, and I'm on the edge of my seat, waiting to hear your story. Welcome welcome welcome! Now...POST.

[Jen]

Am so happy for you, Karen. Reading your posts has taken me right back to when it happened to me -- I clearly remember that "what? You mean you're just going to take my WORD for it?" feeling when I tried to schedule and OB appointment. Heh.

Hope all continues to go well. Hang in there. And you know I've been there, so if you need to chat...

[Libby]

OMG Karen you are back! I was catching up on Tertia's blog and just randomly clicked on the link to your blog (as I always do hoping you would come back) and here you are! I was a lurker on your old blog and was so sad when you closed it down. I am very happy you are back and with what news!! I am thrilled for you and I am dying to hear more.

All the best.

[Libby]

OMG Karen you are back! I was catching up on Tertia's blog and just randomly clicked on the link to your blog (as I always do hoping you would come back) and here you are! I was a lurker on your old blog and was so sad when you closed it down. I am very happy you are back and with what news!! I am thrilled for you and I am dying to hear more.

All the best.

[baggage]

Wow! I've been reading from way before you decided to adopt and I'm so very happy for you. Love the name Rocky too!

[Jo]

Dude you're killing me here. Now I'm all mascararey and hideous.

[Incognito]

*SQUEAL* I am giddy with excitment!!! Firstly, because you are BACK! Secondly, because you are BACK AND PREGNANT! Freakin' fabulous, sister! ^5 All is right with the world........

[Sam]

Damn !!! I've been lurking for so long, I kept clicking your link from time to time hoping you'd come back someday !!
So happy for you and so excited. Can't wait for the "Now" part :-)
Welcome back!! ... now I'm off lurking again

[Barbara]

I'm so glad you're back. I missed your blog a lot!! I can't even express how happy I am for you and can't wait to see where the story goes next. That little flicker and whoosh-whoosh are so amazing.

[Meli]

Oh my goodness, N.O. You're back! And you're pregnant! YES!

So very happy for you all. And MP sounds like she's just as awesome as I remember from your old blog.