Around six weeks I started getting ill. As in eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllll. As in "get me a bucket." As in "it doesn't need to be waaaaaaaaaafer thin, I'm already there, Garcon."
It hit mainly in the afternoon, and when it hit it hit good, like a truckload....of trucks. I was so exhausted I couldn't do much besides lie on the couch and ask MP to get me things--bottles of water, blankets, cocaine needles, the remote control. Often I'd actually throw up or dry heave--this would hit unexpectedly--once, I threw up in the sink while brushing my teeth. Twice I threw up in the shower. Sometimes I'd be sitting pretty (not really pretty, because who the hell is pretty when they're this sick??) and suddenly charge for the bathroom, knocking innocent bystanders (MP, J, Random) out of the way. If Random was home he'd whisk MP out of range, who was immediately concerned and would yell "OKAY MAMA?????" and persist until I managed a weak "yeah I'm okay, thank you" and yes, my little squishable one would then peep "you're welcome!").
Anyway, frequently throwing up or feeling like you're constantly on the verge can have a slightly detrimental effect on your parenting skillz. I basically collapsed on the couch every day. Elmo became our best friend. --By the way, that Mr. Noodle freaks me out. He's like a clown man child molestor, and his name is MR. NOODLE. Am I the only one who gets a little skeeved by him? Couldn't they find a nice Blues Clues type boy to dance around and waggle his bowtie?
The cravings and aversions for things were intense. I lost my desire for seltzer. This was the biggest thing, because I mainlined three bottles of seltzer a day minimum. All of a sudden I didn't want seltzer. I wanted nothing to do with it. I didn't really want diet soda, either. I wanted plain water and juice, which I almost never drank.
One day I wanted nuts more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. (In normal life I am only an occassional nut eater, and never more than a few at a time. I am pretty ambivalent about nuts.) I was driving to get MP from daycare and suddenly the intense desire for nuts struck me and I nearly found myself shaking with the need. I pulled into a small farmer's market near my house and galloped inside like my very life depended on nuts. I bought three big containers and ripped them open in the car. All the way to daycare I stuffed my gullet with nuts. I felt psychotic. I felt...nuts.
At home I was pretty sick and MP, watching, said "What happened Mama???" over and over as she looked concerned at me, gasping and coughing over the toilet. MP's little eyebrows knitted together. "You okay Mama?" she asked.
The m/s was like a constant hangover. I tried ginger. I tried Preggie Pops (good lord, that name makes me cringe. MP calls them my "pills" and gets very upset when she can't give me one). I tried crackers and bland foods and eating small meals and not taking my pre-natals. Nothing worked--and my OB felt I should be able to stick it out without drugs, as did I. My parents just laughed merrily whenever I gave them the Daily Pukey Round-Up, happy to hear everything was normal. Even Random started taking the hwarfs in stride--"oh did you puke again? Poor thing. Here, help me rake some leaves already, Mrs. Hurley."
Where was the cute pregnant glow that was supposed to come? People were starting to give me the hairy eyeball, I was such a hag. And my pants were getting tighter already even with being ill--from bloating, I guess.
And despite what I learned from the Nut Incident I then od'd on swiss cheese.
I'd love to hear some of the things you craved and developed aversions for.....
Next up: I no longer fit in anything, surprise surprise, despite the hurling. So I go to the maternity store! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, me at a maternity store! And I learn something verrrrrrrrrrry important......